Success may look different to each person but when we come to the core of it, success is ultimately a future that we want to attain. What we have to realise is that the journey to success requires a shift in our mindsets because the greatest hindrance to success are the limiting thoughts that occupy our minds and derail us from living out our best lives!
Here are some negative thoughts that you should start bidding farewell to.
I can only have a career by doing something that I love
It would be great if the combination of passion and livelihood overlapped perfectly. But this scenario may not be the case for everyone and that’s okay. The pressure to turn your passion into a full paying career can fuel unhappiness at work if it’s not managed properly.
So if you find that your passions and career aren’t overlapping just yet, it may be wise to start reframing how you see your career. Enjoy the opportunity to have more financial freedom with a paid job that allows you to pursue your passions without putting so much pressure on it having to sustain you full time.
If your passion can eventually take off into a career then great! But if not, then at least you’re enjoying a comfortable life where you get to embrace your passions without a worry.
My past determines my future
I’ve heard many people say that they can’t get a better job because they didn’t have the education required, or that they can’t ask for a pay raise because they’ve never dared to. Many resign to the notion “this is how life is and therefore this is how it’ll always be”.
This thought goes beyond finances and seeps into our personal lives, like when we’ve gone through a broken relationship and think that we would never find someone that we could fall in love with again, as though there’s a lifetime quota of such opportunities. We need to stop judging our lives solely based on our past or even the experiences of our friends.
We need to stop judging our lives solely based on our past
We can choose how we want to respond to what life throws at us. We can learn from our past, take in constructive and helpful feedback and ditch the destructive words. We can leave the past behind where it belongs and look ahead because there are limitless opportunities out there for those who are willing to move forward.
My worth is based on what others think of me
In a world where likes and follows have become a metric of worth, social media can tend to dictate how we see ourselves and our real lives in relation to the highlight reels of others, from celebrities to friends. Even though we know instagram always portrays an unrealistic image of life, we still get sucked into the game of comparison.
A study conducted by the University of Copenhagen found that excessive use of Facebook resulted in deteriorated emotional well being and lowered self esteem, while those who actually abstained from using the media site said that they felt more satisfied with their lives.
Excessive use of Facebook resulted in deteriorated emotional well being and lowered self esteem
While we don’t have to completely abstain, it is healthy to have some days of the week where you’re completely off social media and simply live your best life with your loved ones or even enjoy alone time (away from the screen!).
Dr Tim Bono, author of When Likes Aren’t Enough explained in Healthista, “When we derive a sense of worth based on how we are doing relative to others, we place our happiness in a variable that is completely beyond our control.”
If others are ahead of me, I don’t want to celebrate them
Success is not a zero sum game. Seeing your friends succeed doesn’t mean that your chances are lowered. While some form of competition can be healthy and drive motivation, it shouldn’t reach a point where we are bitter in seeing others achieve what they want. That’s a lonely way to live. Use the competition to inspire yourself to achieve more.
Bitterness is a lonely way to live
You can nurture a healthy sense of competition by celebrating others and being happy for them when they succeed. Then shift your focus to your own goals. Instead of worrying about being the best and beating someone else at something, be your best self and enjoy the process of growing better each day.
Keep your thoughts positive, and celebrate everyone’s achievements in life. Think of it this way, the more people you celebrate along the way, the more people you would have around to celebrate with when it’s your turn to achieve the goals you have! So, ditch the jealousy and put your energy on working closer towards your version of success.
If I’m not tough on myself, I won’t get better
It’s easy to focus on the skills that we are lacking, and allow it to tug at our self esteem. But beating yourself up can turn out to be a waste of time because you then need to build yourself back up again when the pity party is over. So, instead of beating yourself up, start to recognise what you are good at and continue to improve on it. Recognise your shortcomings but also make the choice to see your skills as something that can be improved.
Open yourself up to explore and learn new skills too. Wherever you are starting from, continue with what you are good at, stay open minded to new things and enjoy the journey of learning and understanding, not achieving perfection. Perfection is overrated, choose progress instead.
Now that you see these lies written out, make the choice to stop spending any more time on limiting thoughts that leave you feeling bad and distract you from working towards your dreams.
Put your best energy on constructive thoughts that can carry you further in life. Look at the world of endless possibilities and recognise that you have endless potential in you too. Taking control of your mind can position you for great success.
Read more: 7 unmistakable signs it’s time for a mid-career change