Adding on to the stress that adulting brings to fresh graduates, there is a million dollar question – how much money should you give your parents? Or do you even give your parents allowance?
As Asians, many of us are brought up with the mindset of giving an allowance to our parents as a form of gratitude for raising us when we first set foot into the working world.
Many of us would have probably struggled with deciding on the amount to give back to our parents. We have interviewed five working adults on how much money they give their parents monthly and their thoughts on the culture of giving back.
Let’s jump straight into the questions.
Do you give your parents money every month? If yes, how much? If no, why not?
Job title: Research Assistant
No. I don’t give my parents money every month because I am currently paying for my own postgraduate diploma.
Job title: Freelance Creative
No. I don’t give my parents money every month because my income is unstable for each month and it is difficult for me to give a fixed amount monthly.
Job title: Content Lead
Yes. I give my parents S$200 each every month.
Job title: Producer
Yes. I give my parents a total of S$160 every month.
Job title: Head of Student Success
Yes. I give both my parents a total of S$300 every month.
How do you decide on the amount to give your parents?
Job title: Content Lead
I decided on the amount based on a discussion with my parents and how much I feel that is reasonable to give to them monthly.
Job title: Producer
I had a discussion with my parents and agreed upon a percentage of my current salary that I would give them every month.
Job title: Head of Student Success
The amount I give every month is decided based on my affordability with the current salary I earn. I did not decide on the amount with my parents beforehand.
As an Asian, do you feel obliged to give your parents money every month?
Job title: Research Assistant
Yes, I feel that parents hold the expectation of receiving money monthly from their children and it is an unspoken rule in Asian families.
Job title: Freelance Creative
Yes, I feel that it is expected of me to give back to my parents every month. I am grateful to have open-minded and understanding parents who are able to accept that I am unable to give them money on a monthly basis due to the nature of my work as a freelancer.
Job title: Content Lead
Yes, I feel obliged to give my parents money every month. Apart from meeting the expectation to give back every month, I also want to help my parents financially and support their retirement fund as much as possible.
Job title: Producer
Yes, I feel obliged to give my parents money every month. However, I am happy and willing to do so as I know they have been funding my education and expenses when I was growing up. Now that I have the ability to earn a salary, I feel that it is only right to give back to them.
Job title: Head of Student Success
Yes, as an Asian, I feel that it is a tradition and deeply rooted in our culture to give back to our parents. Most of our parents also hold the expectation to receive money from their children as soon as they start working.
What are your thoughts on children not giving money to their parents every month?
Job title: Research Assistant
I feel that it depends on each family’s circumstances. If the parents have an open and honest discussion with their children, I don’t see a problem if the children do not give money to their parents every month.
Job title: Freelance Creative
As someone who does not give my parents money on a monthly basis, I can understand why some children do the same. However, that may not be the case for everyone, as there may be other reasons that stand in the way of giving money to their parents. There are many other non-monetary ways that we can show love to our parents as well.
Job title: Content Lead
I feel that it comes down to the relationship of the parent and child. If they are on good terms, then I don’t understand why the children do not give back to their parents.
Job title: Producer
I feel that I have no right to be judgemental as ultimately, it is a decision that is made between the children and their parents. While I personally believe that it is necessary to give back, it should not be a rule that everyone needs to abide by.
Job title: Head of Student Success
I feel that giving back to your parents depends on every individual and their affordability. In Singapore, the standard of living is rather high now compared to the past so it is understandable if some children are not able to give their parents money on a monthly basis.
Sometimes, it is not all about measuring money with being filial and the amount of love children have for their parents. If you are struggling to support yourself, let alone someone else, it is understandable that you are unable to provide for your parents. There are plenty of other ways you can show your love to them.
Non-monetary ways you can give back to your parents
Investing your time
As we grow older, we may start moving out from our parents’ home and spend more time at work. Making a conscious effort to spend time with our parents is one way to show our appreciation to them.
Cook for them
Cooking a simple meal for your parents is another way of showing them you care. For most of us, our parents are the ones who prepare meals for us growing up. How many of us have actually prepared a meal for them instead?
Help out with household chores
As our parents’ grow older, they may not be able to do household chores as efficiently as before. Something as basic as cleaning up after ourselves after a meal and washing the dishes can make parents’ feel appreciated by their children.
For the majority, we are raised up by our parents and they provided us with food, shelter, and allowance to cover our expenses. Now, as we grow older, is it only right to give back to them in some way, regardless of money being involved. At the end of the day, it is the thought that counts.
